Happy Holidays, You Beautiful Algorithm-Chasing Lunatics

Ok, let’s get the obvious out of the way: yes, it’s soon to be Pesach (Passover)—the holiday of matzah, wine, generational trauma, and long dinners where someone always brings up politics by the second cup.

It's also my namesake holiday, so naturally I'm emotionally obligated to mention it, right after I finish yelling at my relatives for hiding the afikomen in a FedEx envelope.

But in case you're not busy re-enacting ancient oppression with stale crackers and brisket, there are other holidays today, because of course there are:

🐾 National Pet Day
Time to pamper your goldfish, chinchilla, or whatever exotic creature you’re emotionally projecting onto. Even your bearded dragon deserves contentment today.

Don’t forget to:

• Overexplain to your pet why today is their day (they’ll ignore you, but it’s the principle).

• Attempt a photoshoot (bonus points if your tarantula looks vaguely cooperative).

• Reflect on how a creature that judges you 24/7 still gets unlimited snacks.

What’s your pet’s VIP treatment today? Extra mealworms? A dramatic reading of their favorite fish-themed sonnet? Do share. 🦎💖

🧀 National Cheese Fondue Day
Molten dairy and second-degree burns—what could possibly go wrong?

🎶 Barbershop Quartet Day
Nothing says “I peaked in 1894” like synchronized mustaches and four-part harmony.

Now, here’s the part you really need to know: I’m technically “off” next week, but let’s be real—I’ve pre-scheduled a week’s worth of bangers so strong they might trigger a lawsuit from The Trade Desk or a nervous breakdown from your friendly agency exec.

Coming Up on ADOTAT (yes, even while I’m off):

💣 “The Trade Desk Doesn’t Need You—They Just Haven’t Told You Yet”
Spoiler: They’re smiling in the meeting, but building tech to kick you out behind the scenes. Scheduled April 16.

🎭 “Optimization Theater: Where Metrics Clap but No One Buys”
Because a 6.4x ROAS slide is just Broadway for your CFO. Scheduled April 18.

⚔️ “Viant vs. The Trade Desk – The Adtech Battle Royale Begins”
Viant's got the match. TTD built the fuse. I'm just lighting it. Scheduled April 17.

📉 “The Funnel Trap” Series – Parts I to V
Welcome to the Church of Over-Optimization. Where you're praying to CPM gods while your audience quietly dies in the mid-funnel. Scheduled daily, starting April 14.

🧙‍♂️ Special Report: Audience Alchemy Is BS
Turning astrology into media plans—because "cold brew lover" is now a targeting segment. Scheduled April 15.

⚠️ And here’s your not-so-subtle nudge:

If you’re not subscribed to ADOTAT+, you’re basically watching the adtech version of Succession through a keyhole.

The paid version is where the bodies are buried:

• Leaked decks

• Lawsuits before they hit the press

• Actual strategies that get buried under buzzwords

It’s cheaper than whatever your agency billed you for “AI-powered storytelling.”

So do the smart thing: 👉 Subscribe to ADOTAT+ Because knowing more than your boss is a competitive advantage.

And because I like paying rent.

Stay Bold. Stay Curious. And Know More Than You Did Yesterday. —Pesach

🎥 And Now, Some Light Programming Before Your Next Panic Meeting

Because I know your attention span is currently being measured in TikToks, here’s your reward for scrolling all the way down like the curious, slightly unhinged ad nerd you are.

👀 First Up: Rishad Tobaccowala

Yes, the Rishad. Philosopher king of marketing. Patron saint of “your boss is the problem.” He’s first because you earned it. Mazal tov.