Retail Media’s Tightrope: Glory Awaits, But So Does the Abyss

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Retail media networks (RMNs) have burst onto the advertising scene like a TikTok influencer in an 8 a.m. college class: unexpected, slightly chaotic, but impossible to ignore. Promising brands a golden ticket to first-party data and laser-focused targeting, RMNs are sitting at the cool kids' table of advertising—for now.

The question is, can they avoid becoming the table everyone wishes would just move to the cafeteria’s dark corner? Andrew Lipsman, Brian Monahan, Drew Cashmore, and others are painting a picture of 2025 where RMNs will either ascend to glory or implode under the weight of their own hype. Let’s dive into this murky future with a mix of skepticism, wit, and a stiff drink.

Unicorns Are Real (Regionally Speaking)

Brian Monahan, dentsu’s Global Client President and Head of Retail Media Solutions, is Betting big on regional unicorns, Brian Monahan predicts that EMEA and APAC will each birth retail media giants pulling in $1 billion in billings, effectively sending a not-so-subtle message to the U.S.: you're not the only game in town. His star picks? Seven & I Holdings in APAC and Ahold Delhaize in EMEA. These aren’t your run-of-the-mill players quietly tweaking banner ads—they’re primed for a global takeover. They’re not trotting; they’re saddling up for a full-on gallop to claim their piece of the retail media pie. Monahan underscores that these regions are perfectly positioned for such a rise, thanks to the solid groundwork already laid in retail media. Unlike the U.S., where RMNs are approaching saturation faster than a sponge at the bottom of a sink, EMEA and APAC offer wide-open fields ready for innovation.

But let’s pump the brakes before we declare this a global retail utopia. Andrew Lipsman, ever the pragmatist, warns that the $1 billion milestone comes with strings—big, tangled, messy ones. Over-monetization, which is just a fancy way of saying, “Let’s drown users in ads until they cry uncle,” is a ticking time bomb. Picture scrolling through an RMN platform only to find 42 ads clogging your feed before you’ve even spotted a single useful product. It’s the digital equivalent of someone aggressively upselling you in a department store—you’ll walk out empty-handed just to escape the madness.

And that’s just the consumer side. Lipsman points to cautionary tales of platforms that lost their shine—and their user bases—by chasing ad revenue at the expense of user experience. Trust? Loyalty? Gone faster than a Black Friday deal. Add in the ever-present privacy watchdogs ready to pounce, and you’re looking at potential fines and scandals that could make GDPR feel like a warm-up act. Lipsman’s advice? Celebrate the rise of retail media, but don’t get so drunk on success that you forget the hangover. The industry needs to address these pitfalls before it finds itself facing angry consumers, furious regulators, and a very public fall from grace.

Creative: From Basic to Bougie

Gone are the days when slapping a logo on an ad was like putting lipstick on a pig and calling it a beauty queen. Brian Monahan sees a creative renaissance brewing in RMNs, and it’s not the kind of “make it pop” creativity your cousin with Photoshop dreams up. He’s talking co-branded masterpieces—a bold fusion of brand identities that don’t just sell products but tell stories. Think less cookie-cutter banner ads and more Emmy-worthy mini-dramas that make you forget you’re watching an ad. Dynamic creative optimization (DCO) will graduate from being a glorified template-filler to a narrative powerhouse, with AI churning out personalized campaigns that actually feel human. Yes, AI might finally be good for something other than writing awkward poetry.

The vision? Ads so premium they practically wear designer labels—and they’ll be priced accordingly. These won’t be your everyday CPM deals; Monahan envisions RMNs commanding top dollar for bespoke creative that seamlessly merges brand storytelling with retail media targeting. Picture an AI engine humming in the background, tailoring every pixel to resonate with individual shoppers while maintaining a brand’s polished, overarching message. It’s like having a Michelin-starred chef design your cafeteria menu—fancy, functional, and entirely unexpected.

But here’s the rub: as Andrew Lipsman reminds us, with great creative power comes even greater potential for cringe. Nail it, and you’ve got an ad campaign that feels like it’s speaking directly to you. Miss the mark, and you’re the digital equivalent of that one uncle who tells bad jokes at Thanksgiving. Consumers have zero tolerance for ads that don’t hit home—one irrelevant or poorly targeted ad, and they’ll tune out faster than you can say “uninstall.” Lipsman likens it to walking a tightrope over a pit of spammy pop-ups. One wrong move, and you’re falling into the abyss of consumer annoyance, never to return.

But if done right—and that’s a big if—this creative evolution could redefine the industry. Lipsman sees the potential for RMNs to deliver ads that not only engage but also inspire, turning everyday shoppers into brand evangelists. Imagine ads so effective they become watercooler conversation—“Did you see that Walmart-Vizio collab ad? Pure genius!” It’s not just a pipe dream; it’s the golden carrot dangling in front of RMNs. The challenge is getting there without tripping over their own ambition or alienating their audience with a deluge of poorly executed ideas.

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